I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
