I am in a vortex of obligation.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
