There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
