I cockslap morals
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
