what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize