I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
