let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
