this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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