I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I did not marry a roomba.
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