Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize