I puked a lego.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
