It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
