That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
