i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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