I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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