If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
