Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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