I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
