Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
