omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
