I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
