He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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