just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
