I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
