Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
