So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
