I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
