Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
