and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
