after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
