how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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