My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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