how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The beer is more important than you right now.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
