It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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