I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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