I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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