I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
3 2 1 whiskey
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
