dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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