Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
