Your tits are I can't wait for
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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