No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
