you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
His nipple licking is glorious
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