At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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