i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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