I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
