He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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