her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize