she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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