when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
