you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
