Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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