I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
