It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
