Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
