I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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