Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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