i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
