i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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