the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
