who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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