dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
