I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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