I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
