I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize