sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
