I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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