somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize